Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I think I’ve made it pretty clear in the past, that squirrels are not my favorite animal. They are indeed pesky, as I have seen and heard them labeled many times, and additionally, they are greedy hogs as well in my opinion. They climb up onto my feeders, sitting right square in the middle of my one particular feeder that is a plate, and gobble that food down until it’s all but gone; like they own the joint.

We’ve tried doing several things to deter them, popping them (at them is more accurate) with BB guns, a couple of shots with a pellet gun from my husband who is a better shot than me, and I’m sure my surrounding neighbor’s most favorite method, is me, running out onto my porch, (sometimes still in my nightclothes) waving my arms, clapping my hands, and hollering like a wild woman, trying to shoo them off my feeders!

Well a week or so ago, I decided enough was enough! I got on the internet and started looking for feeders that advertised to keep the squirrels out. I roamed and roamed, seeing all the ones on there, that I had already seen and heard were not very effective. Then lo and behold – there it was! The King Daddy Dog of feeders! It was called Wild Bill’s 8 Station Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder! It is wired to deliver a small shock for anything “heavy” that lands on the plate below the feed stations. The instructions assured me that no bird landing on it – other than maybe a fat dove – which by the way eat too much of my feed as well – should get shocked.

Oh, but I am not done. THEN – I ordered a gizmo that looks like an old timey slinky. The point is to put it on your shepherds hook that is holding your feeder or plate, and there is no way a squirrel can shimmy up the hook. The slinky keeps bouncing him back off!

Now – all the ordering is done but I couldn’t just sit and wait for all that to deliver, I still needed to take some kind of action to stop it until my items came in. so I got the bright idea to grease down my shepherd’s hook! I took some olive oil and went out side and sopped that hook down with the oil.

My items have all since come in and been put-up and activated – however – I have been at work all week so I don’t know how it’s been going except that I have a lot more feed still in my feeders each day. BUT – I do know how that greasy hook worked and if you want a sure-fire, quick way to stop the squirrel action – DO IT! I laughed so hard watching those squirrels trying to get a grip on that hook and just slide right back down!

I’ll be home this weekend and able to watch how Wild Bill and the slinky are working. One way or another – my birds will no longer be terrified to eat at their stations in my yard – I’m making sure of it!

And The Green Flag Drops!

And it begins. Three days from now life changes will happen that will put my married life to the backseat and my social life straight into the driver’s seat and full throttle ahead.

Every weekend will be filled with speed and excitement – minus the romance; as one my husband’s favorite sayings because of his stature (though it’s perfect to me) is: he was built for speed and romance. The other is: “I may not be tallest tree on the mountain but I’m the sweetest shrub in the valley.”  I have been his life partner and now married partner for a total of almost 21 years, and yes, I have heard those two sayings often. He actually has many Kornbread’isms – but that’s another story for another day.

At any rate, I won’t be homeless but I will be practically husband-less for the next 10 months. I have spent the last two months trying to get all of my piled-up honey-do’s completed, because there will be none of that in the months to come. Anything I need will be worked-in between commercials and television scheduling and unless I’m on fire, the house is on fire, or his vehicle is on fire, I need not come to him for much of anything!

Yes, my husband has a mistress; albeit it’s his part-time mistress, the time and attention it takes from me is all the same. And I’m sure you’re asking yourselves how I have allowed this to happen, and the truth is, I don’t quite know myself.  

I mean I knew it, I was of sound mind and body when I started dating him all those years ago, and certainly by the time I married him in 2006; but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I thought some of that interest would fade with time. That other things would become more important – like fishing and gardening. Okay, gardening is a stretch beyond ANY man’s imagination of something more exciting and fun to do than to sit and watch a NASCAR race for hours on end, but geez!

However, somewhere along the way, and those millions of circles around a track of asphalt, I figured out a way to make myself just as happy as he seems to be. I learned that as long as I had him something here to eat, he really didn’t notice whether I was around or not, so I found other things for me to do that were exciting FOR me.

I see a lot of chick movies and I eat a lot of popcorn. I catch up with girlfriends doing fun things like walking through plant nurseries in 100 degree heat, looking at all the pretty flowers. I catch up on my reading list, and of course, when his races are not on, I am catching up on my television shows I had to record.

These coming months of “separation” do us both a little good. I think it’s healthy for partners/spouses to have different interests. But even so, I appreciate the race free weekend days – because the lake will be calling our name and we can do something together that we both love – FISH!

The Best Kind of Valentine's

For those of you sitting around right now, feeling down or sad, feeling left out and lonely, because you think when all those flowers arrived at work today for someone else, and because you didn’t get any, that no one loves you – no one cares about you? Well let me tell you why I know someone does.

If someone spoke to you today on their way into the grocery store, the post office or the hardware store, they care about you. If someone held the door for you while you stepped up the pace to walk into the doctor’s office this morning – someone cares. If a friend called you out of the blue today to see how you’re doing, someone cares. And whether you think so or not, even if the only interaction you have today is at a graveside, as you grieve someone who has been lost, or even someone who has had heaven as a new residence for quite some time, the memories alone, are proof someone loved and cared about you.

If your mail gets put in the right box every day, yes, someone is doing their job, but they care enough about you to do it right. If the woman standing next to you in line in the drizzling rain, offers to share her umbrella with you as you stood there with none – someone cares. If you’re at the dentist office for your regular check-up and the lady up front is kind enough to check on your husband as he sits and waits anxiously for you to come back out – someone cares. And if the stranger who rolls you out of the hospital in the mandatory wheelchair, bothers to make small talk all the way out of the building – someone cares about you.

If the cashier chases you down in the parking lot because you left one of your bags on her counter -someone cares. If the pharmacy tech peels the 50% off sticker on your tissue box while totaling your order (because you forgot to do it) – someone cares about you. If you get a random card in the mail, no matter the day or reason, holiday or not – somebody cares. And if the car in front of you pays your order before you even pull-up in line to pay – someone cares about you.

The thing is folks, candy, cards, flowers, nice dinners, and stuffed animals are all very nice gestures. But so is some fried spam that my husband cooked for me while I was at the hairdresser until almost 7pm, and starving when I finally got home and walked in the door, so that I didn’t have to do anything but sit down and eat. Or when he’s going out of town before garbage day, he empties all the trash in the house anyway, and rolls it to the curb so I don’t have to – that’s also love. And when he’s eating, no matter what it is, he always offers me some before he even takes a bite.

I don’t know about you, but most times, I would rather have all the little pieces of love and caring year-round’, than that once a year stuff anyway!