Never Let The Words Stop

I have probably made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I have thought and thought of different ways to try and battle progression, but am finding defeat at every turn. I swore I would never give in, yet I am afraid, if I do not compromise, I will be forever lost in what was, and what no longer matters. I wanted to hold out. I wanted to be the last one standing. But in order to accomplish what I feel I must, in my lifetime, I have to admit that this move on my part is necessary.

I will always love the smell and the feel. The sheer power of what is inside. The places you can see and experience and never leave your home. The emotional gamut one can feel from head to toe. The exhilaration of happiness and extreme downfall of sadness.  With no help from anyone. You can experience these feelings all on your own. If you know how. If you know the secret. If you are brave enough to discover the combination to the most private of places to go.

But time is slowly but surely altering the way we live. And if I want to participate in the future, I must succumb to the present. And I most certainly want to be part of things to come. I have to be a part of the wonderful things that are surely coming one day. Knowing that I can be a part of it, if I just admit what I need to do, makes it so much easier. The end result. The major objective. The most important reasons I can possibly think of, are what drive me to make it happen. Just bite the bullet and do it.

Grandchildren. I don't know when I'm going to have some, but I am dang sure banking on it. Dang sure hoping for it. And I dang sure have my mind set to get prepared for it. For when it happens, not if. And I know this is nothing anyone wants to discuss or think about, but I have to think about it. I have to know I can still be a part of all that goodness, should I not be here when it happens. As we all get older, and health issues arise, it has become crystal clear to me, that being prepared is so much smarter than being left behind or left out. Denial will get you both. Left behind AND left out.

So I am going to purchase an I-Pad. I know I said I never would. I know I have criticized and chastised everyone who is buying these Nooks and Kindles. I know I have blamed the demise of my favorite book stores, books, and the smell of pages and binders on everyone who has already given in.  I am still buying hardbacks myself. I still have not given in for me. I still refuse, until the last book is printed, to change my mindset about all of that.

But this is for my future grandchildren. This is both an unselfish and selfish act on my part. I am going to purchase and download all the Dr. Suess books I read to my children when they were little. And I am going to record those wonderful stories in my voice for each and every one. I am going to record the excitement, the sadness, the happiness and the funny the best way I know how. I am going to be somebody's funny, sweet, and silly grandma to remember, whether I am here or not. This is the only way I know to ease my mind. To make me sleep well at night. Knowing, that I can be a part of their lives, no matter what happens between now and then. I have to know that an important piece of me, will be left behind for them.

And more important than any of that, I have to know those dang stories are told the right way! I have to know the pitch of the voice will be raised and quickened, excited and scared when it's supposed to be. After all, I've been called Miss Walt Disney more than a few times in my life. I certainly have a legacy that must be upheld.  Me and Dr. Suess that is......

copyright © 2011 Michelle Mount Mims