Follow Your Heart

Last weekend, my husband and I went shopping for our great-grandbaby. The saleswoman who was tallying up my items commented on my purchases. I’m guessing that since not only am I not pregnant, I also don’t look like anyone who is going to be anytime soon; which lead to the question of who was I buying for today. I told her the items were for our soon to be great-grandson.  I noticed she was looking at me rather oddly, and now I am guessing/hoping that she was wondering how in the world I could be a great-grandmother.

I took the time to explain my bonus family and as I did so, I could see the cloud of questions in her eyes disappear; as if it all began to make more sense now. She began to tell me how much our lives were going to change, and that it was amazing how much joy grandchildren can bring; that for a short time, they can seemingly make you forget all your troubles. She then said she herself was going to have some lab work done in the next week or so; a stress test, to make sure all was working right. She laughed, and said her husband asked her what in the world she had to be stressed about and she said she just looked at him, and left that question unanswered.

To me she then said, “They never know what burdens we carry or how much we worry and fret. I called my cousin the other day and asked her to pray for me.  I told her I wasn’t even sure what she needed to pray for, but to please just pray.”

I looked into her eyes and saw myself. I saw the pain she has no idea from where it comes, and the hurt that she cannot explain because although both feel physical, they are not. I responded that life is hard and that I was just saying the other day; that I always thought it was supposed to get easier the older we got, not harder. And as I said those words, I had the strongest urge to give this stranger, this woman who I had never met before, a hug that might possibly bring her peace. I felt like maybe both she and I at that moment, needed human contact and caring from someone who owed us nothing, with no obligations, just because we simply felt like doing it.

I’ve had a lot of those experiences lately. The kind that leave me wondering were these happenings, these people, placed in my path for a reason? And also wondering, why so much now, and not in years past? Or was I given these same experiences/gifts before and ignored them.

I didn’t hug that woman that day, and I still really felt like I should have. Hindsight is so rarely any help; mostly just wishes of different results. The world needs more positive actions, not delayed reactions; and I need to work on that myself.