Being Financially Aware Is Important

My sister’s husband passed away, this past February 22^nd. He was only 56 years old; he hadn’t been sick or ill, it wasn’t expected. He did have a few health problems like many of us at that age, but he was treating them with daily medications, so again, it wasn’t expected.

Now pay attention because this is important: my sister is 50 years old, and has been qualified for disability for about 10 years or so now, and not able to work. Notice that I said qualified, but I did not say, she has been receiving disability. She spent several years in court as many people do, with doctor reports and such, trying to make a judge understand her limitations – to no avail. Finally, someone saw the light, granted the motion for benefits and she received them for about a year or so.

Her husband then changed jobs, and with that new job came a pay increase, and with that new pay increase, the disability benefits all but disappeared, because now the over-all income in their home was above the rate for her to continue to receive those benefits previously awarded.

Fast forward to February when her husband passed. They had moved many times over the years, and somehow all of my sister’s personal legal documents were nowhere to be found. And I mean all of them: birth certificate, marriage license, last known picture ID as she is no longer licensed to drive – nothing. In our hands, all we were left holding proving her to be the wife of her deceased husband was a death certificate – but nothing else even to prove that was really her.

When I tell you what a vicious cycle it is trying to get proof of all those documents without a picture ID – well we’ll just say it was starting to feel dang near impossible. Plus, none of his accounts, for instance, his checking account, had her name on it, so we had to have major proofs of identification/affidavits for her to be able to draw those funds out of his account.

For weeks she felt betrayed and abandoned because she was not aware accounts had been changed or that she was no longer a signer. But we are family, and little by little we have put all the pieces together to make her a whole person again, in name and in spirit.  The next battle is to get her SSI benefits reinstated – which should go fairly smooth.

My point to you ladies today is this: never, ever lose who you are – as a person, or as a human being. Know your finances, don’t let yourselves be shut-out from banking accounts, and make a Will. I don’t care if you’re 35 years old – make a Will. If you have anything of value, monetarily or otherwise, that you want to go to someone specific – make a Will. Make sure you can access/be a co-signer, on all accounts so there are no radical surprises on top of the grief you are experiencing. Have a credit card that’s in YOUR name, whether you use it or not.

In what is already the darkest time of your life; don’t be left alone, dependent, lost and scared.