Sunday, February 12, 2012

Walk In These Shoes, Then We'll Talk

Is it really our jobs, our place to take on all the blame of the world? Is it really our fault/responsibility when the children we raised, to the best of  our known ability, go awry?  Therapists and psychiatrists all over the world, make millions of dollars a year, based on "the mother" theory. Well I for one am not buying it.  I know who I am and I know what I did. I'm not a perfect Mother, but I'm damned near it. While children everywhere can take into account what we didn't do right, let me tell what we DID do.

1. Sat up with you night after night when you were sick, didn't want to sleep, or were coughing so badly, you couldn't lie flat. Then she crawled out of the rocking chair where she had sat up all night long, rocking you, and went to work on less than two hours of sleep.

2. Sat for hours in endless emergency room visits for colds/fevers and infections that only seem to strike on the weekends when regular doctors were not at work.

3.  Made sure you were always clean and fed. That you had a nice warm room to sleep in with all the right colors for comfort and mental growth.

4.  Read to you for hours, doing all the sounds and best interpretations of Brer' Rabbit a human can possibly do.

5.  Worked for an absolute maniac for years, so that as a single parent, she could provide her children with everything they could possible need or want. Gave them a nice home and nice place to grow up.

6.  She reminds her children of every birthday, Mother's/Father's day (for grandparents) so that no one ever feels left out, gets their feelings hurt, or thinks she didn't raise her children to be respectful.

7.  She neglects her own health and well being to run here and run there trying to be everything for everybody at one time.Which never seems to be enough and someone always seems to be left out.

8.  She stays with a drunk too long, because she cannot financially raise her children on her own yet, but she does everything in her power to make sure, neither one of them are ever left with him alone, once he has proven he cannot be a proper responsible father.

9.  When you are picked on at school and made fun of, she goes to unheard of lengths to make it stop. She has no pride and will not be stopped, when it comes to protecting you.

10. When she cannot afford it, she somehow still makes sure you have what you need. No matter what it takes.

11. When your grandparents want to meddle and "advise" too much, she intervenes and pulls them off of you and into her direction so that she can take all the heat and aggravation. 

12. She is THE BEST middle man between her children and their Daddy. She takes the brunt of his anger, irritation, and basic ranting. Many times over nothing, but just the same, she takes it so you don't have to.

13. She won't always say what you want to hear because that's not always the right answer. She will not sugarcoat the perils of life, because she wants you to be able to live on your own one day. With knowledge not ignorance. 

14. We hocked our lives and souls for snare drums, go karts, and electric guitars because that's what you wanted more than anything in the world, at that time.

15. She listened to you cry and watched your hearts break, over girls and boys we already knew, were never worth your love.

16. She feels guilty over what she couldn't do, shouldn't have done, and never did, even when she shouldn't. She will never see it, but she is not to blame for everything that does not suit you or go your way.

17.  She drives to Walmart on a Wednesday night at 9pm, after working her behind off all day, cooking supper, and in the middle of washing clothes, because you just remembered you have a project that is due the next day, and you forgot to get three poster boards. And oh yeah, you will need her to help you build a model of a ship before tomorrow too. Shoot Mama, don't be so mad, sorry, they forgot.

18.  She is washing your football jersey at 11pm because you forgot to get it out of your gym bag, even when she asked you at 7pm if you had anything that needed to be washed and you said no.

And lastly, no matter what you think, your mother will love you more than any other human in your life, can possibly love you. That goes for dads, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, life partners and best friends. She will always be at your beck and call. She will always answer the phone and listen to you cry, whine or fuss, at any time of the night or day. She will always take your side, albeit she will also try and gently point out the other side as well.  She will always think you are the prettiest or most handsome human being alive. The smartest person God created. The most talented person God ever perfected. And when you are not chosen for this life event or another, she will always know, there must have been a mistake. Your mother is the biggest Fan you will ever have in your life, and you, her biggest Hero.

I can honestly say I have no regrets. Anger outbursts and ugly words are all a part of real life. Bad decisions and less than stellar judgement calls are real life. If I could have been any better, any different, I wouldn't be called a Mama, my title would be an Angel. And Lord knows, I am not an Angel. I'm still human and I'm still the best Mother you could ever have. On that, I give you my word.


  1. That should be on poster board in every free clinic in America. If girls knew what they were getting into....