Suddenly life changes and nothing is the same;
but everything is just how you remember leaving it. And somehow you love even
more than you thought you could; as you stand there, looking around, wondering
where you were, and how you missed it.
That's how real life works. We as adults/parents,
think when we take the time to have conversations with our children, that they’re
listening.
We think that when we have "the talk" with our children, they’re absorbing what we’re saying and that they care; and we badly want to believe, they’re going to do as we say and follow our wishes.
We think that when we have "the talk" with our children, they’re absorbing what we’re saying and that they care; and we badly want to believe, they’re going to do as we say and follow our wishes.
Even as we’re having that talk, and saying to
them, "I'm not stupid enough to think I can stop you"; in the back of
our minds; we do think we can stop those irresponsible actions
with our words, so I don't even know why we bother to say that. Who are we
fooling? Ourselves; that's who we're fooling.
I've seen so many instances of children
proving their parents wrong, as in "my child would never do that, he/she
knows better" or "I know exactly where and what my child is
doing". I'm telling you right now; you're wrong if you really think
those things. Once they’re in that car, driving or riding, pulling out of
your drive-way, you don't know anything. You can hope that where they told you
they were going is where they went. You can hope what they said they were
doing, is what they did; but you don't know.
The best of children will stray from the
boundaries you have set. The most trusted of children will succumb to peer
pressures. And the most sensible of children will get caught up in the notion
of love and make wrong choices.
Let me put this in perspective; everywhere you
turn, there are adults who don’t make the right decisions. Grown people; wives
and husbands who get caught up in feelings and forget everything they were
ever taught was right; who somehow forget in the heat of the moment, where they’re
supposed to be, and what they’re supposed to be doing. Adults/parents who may
or may not be leading by good examples. So how in the world we expect these
young, innocent people to behave differently, just because we said so; I have
no idea.
If you think the talk needs to happen; there’s
no inappropriate age or limit on common sense and preventing a possible
negative life altering event. Having those talks isn't condoning, it’s
showing that you care, that you’re there for them and hoping they understand
they can talk to you about ANYTHING. Once the lies, deceit and sneaking start,
you’re already behind. They've got a leg up on you, they’re younger and
move much faster.
It's a daily job to stay connected, aware and to
never assume, never get too comfortable. I still haven’t figured out exactly
when our job as parents is done. I’ll have to get back with you on that.