Friday, March 21, 2014

Tug Of Love For The Greater Good

Suddenly life changes and nothing is the same; but everything is just how you remember leaving it. And somehow you love even more than you thought you could; as you stand there, looking around, wondering where you were, and how you missed it. 

That's how real life works. We as adults/parents, think when we take the time to have conversations with our children, that they’re listening.
 We think that when we have "the talk" with our children, they’re absorbing what we’re saying and that they care; and we badly want to believe, they’re going to do as we say and follow our wishes. 

Even as we’re having that talk, and saying to them, "I'm not stupid enough to think I can stop you"; in the back of our minds; we do think we can stop those irresponsible actions with our words, so I don't even know why we bother to say that. Who are we fooling? Ourselves; that's who we're fooling. 

I've seen so many instances of children proving their parents wrong, as in "my child would never do that, he/she knows better" or "I know exactly where and what my child is doing".  I'm telling you right now; you're wrong if you really think those things.  Once they’re in that car, driving or riding, pulling out of your drive-way, you don't know anything. You can hope that where they told you they were going is where they went. You can hope what they said they were doing, is what they did; but you don't know. 

The best of children will stray from the boundaries you have set. The most trusted of children will succumb to peer pressures. And the most sensible of children will get caught up in the notion of love and make wrong choices.

Let me put this in perspective; everywhere you turn, there are adults who don’t make the right decisions. Grown people; wives and husbands who get caught up in feelings and forget everything they were ever taught was right; who somehow forget in the heat of the moment, where they’re supposed to be, and what they’re supposed to be doing. Adults/parents who may or may not be leading by good examples. So how in the world we expect these young, innocent people to behave differently, just because we said so; I have no idea.

If you think the talk needs to happen; there’s no inappropriate age or limit on common sense and preventing a possible negative life altering event.  Having those talks isn't condoning, it’s showing that you care, that you’re there for them and hoping they understand they can talk to you about ANYTHING. Once the lies, deceit and sneaking start, you’re already behind. They've got a leg up on you, they’re younger and move much faster.

It's a daily job to stay connected, aware and to never assume, never get too comfortable. I still haven’t figured out exactly when our job as parents is done. I’ll have to get back with you on that. 

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