Saturday, May 24, 2014

High Flying Circus Act

I woke up to the sun blasting through our windows, and the first thing I thought of, was not breakfast or the day that lay ahead; but instead my absolute FAVORITE thing to do on a spring or summer morning. I love sitting out on my front porch glider, with a cup of coffee and a BB Gun; shooting squirrels like Annie Oakley, modern day style.

Now just to clear the air of any crazy thoughts about squirrel stew or squirrel and gravy; these squirrels will not be shot for Sunday dinner. There will be NO squirrel stew cooked in my house; not by me anyway. I shoot them because they swarm my bird feeders; I cannot keep them filled with food, because of those crazy, circus flying squirrels. My poor birds are so intimidated, not to mention starving to death!

I will never forget the first time I "tagged" one; I went crazy! He was cocked mid- air, head first, into my feeder. Literally hanging upside down, his claws hooked into the top of the feeder as he ate, face first at the bottom. I popped that varmint right on the back of his head; his tail still wrapped around the limb. That son of a gun froze, his tail let loose; and he dropped, slap to the ground! I jumped up off that glider, whooping and dancing around, like I had killed a prize buck! It was on then, one down and about a million to go. 

Last year this got to be my weekend ritual; I’ll admit, I was addicted. I am no longer sure if it was killing the pesky squirrels or just the thrill of the "tag", which sounds just awful doesn't it? I can remember thinking to myself, this is why people like to hunt so much. Heck, it's gotta help work out some of your aggression's . The jolt of energy and adrenalin it gives you when contact is made is unreal. And these are just tiny, nasty squirrels I'm talking about. Can you imagine the victory of tagging a full grown deer???

Of course, I think my kills are more victorious. What? Are you laughing? Perhaps scoffing? You don't think so? Well of course they are, anybody should be able to tag a full grown deer; A BIG FULL GROWN DEER; just standing there out in the wide blue open. What a target! Try shooting a little squirrel who's flying from one limb to the next, jitterbugging all through the tree; now that ain't easy to do my friend. Talk about needing sharp shooting abilities! 

As I stepped out on my porch this morning, there they were, but I had a lot to get done, the dang squirrel’s would have a reprieve; for now.  But they had better get their climbing gear rolled up a notch or two. `Cause I'm ready, and I'm coming; coffee cup and BB Gun in hand.  As my oldest son loves to say: LOCK AND LOAD SON, LOCK AND LOAD. 

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