THE BIG MOVE

The Newest Addition to Quincy, Florida Living! 

Well folks, I have held this in for as long as I could possibly could. At times, I have felt like I was underwater and someone was smashing my head down with their heavy hand - just trying to see how long I could stand it.

It's been a long time coming, for me at least. I have wanted it, prayed for it, and finally - it's here. I know there are mixed feelings for some people wrapped up in this deal and I fully understand that. Once you have found it, settled into and love it, you don't want to leave it. It's yours, you looked for it forever, finally found it and you never wanted to leave.

But life and circumstance have stepped in and said Whoa Nelly! We're going to have to go in this direction now. My heart hurts for you and feels for you - but it also sings. It sings loud and it sings excitedly and proudly. Admittedly, many of those feelings are selfishly for myself and mine - because again - I have prayed for this more times than I could tell you.

I know what a monstrous event this feels like for them - moving themselves and their entire lives in a truck, two hours up the road. I also know, to most, that doesn't seem like much of a big deal - but I'm only 55 years old and I have accumulated a lot of life in my home too - believe me, it's a big deal.

But once it's all said and done - my folks, the people who created me, will be no more than ten minutes away from me whether I am at home or at work. I cannot tell all folks what relief and joy that brings to me and mine. I will be able to see them most anytime I want to - after work, on weekends, Sunday and Saturday lunches - just the thought of all that instant access make me plum giddy.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but my thought is this: whatever comes our way in sickness and in health, for better or worse - we will all be right here together to help one another get through it. I hope in time the love for where they were and their life before, shifts to where they will be now and all the hopes for the better lives for us all it will bring.

Needless to say - this will absolutely be the best Mother's Day present this daughter could have ever wanted to receive. To have her mama, her best friend, so close that she can almost reach out and touch her. To know that the woman she called and talked to on the phone, everyday without fail, sometimes wondering if she was reading words and moods differently than they seem to be conveyed, and worrying about that same difference, causing her nights to be restless - was about to be over. If I need to know - I can just go see for myself!

Happy Mother's Day to THE best Mama any girl could ever ask for - our days are about to be better than we could have ever imagined and you will never know how much I'll treasure this time in our lives as adults and friends, not just mother and daughter.

So without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen of Gadsden County - on Monday, May 13th - my parents, Jean and David Mount - will officially be homeowners here in Quincy, Florida! If you see them (or my sister Ashley) out and about, and you will before long, please welcome them with all the open arms and kindness that you welcomed me and mine almost 21 years ago now. I know they will come to love this place and all of you - just as I have over the years. Quincy is a magical little town - and I pray they can feel that and come to appreciate it just as I have.

Being Financially Aware Is Important

My sister’s husband passed away, this past February 22^nd. He was only 56 years old; he hadn’t been sick or ill, it wasn’t expected. He did have a few health problems like many of us at that age, but he was treating them with daily medications, so again, it wasn’t expected.

Now pay attention because this is important: my sister is 50 years old, and has been qualified for disability for about 10 years or so now, and not able to work. Notice that I said qualified, but I did not say, she has been receiving disability. She spent several years in court as many people do, with doctor reports and such, trying to make a judge understand her limitations – to no avail. Finally, someone saw the light, granted the motion for benefits and she received them for about a year or so.

Her husband then changed jobs, and with that new job came a pay increase, and with that new pay increase, the disability benefits all but disappeared, because now the over-all income in their home was above the rate for her to continue to receive those benefits previously awarded.

Fast forward to February when her husband passed. They had moved many times over the years, and somehow all of my sister’s personal legal documents were nowhere to be found. And I mean all of them: birth certificate, marriage license, last known picture ID as she is no longer licensed to drive – nothing. In our hands, all we were left holding proving her to be the wife of her deceased husband was a death certificate – but nothing else even to prove that was really her.

When I tell you what a vicious cycle it is trying to get proof of all those documents without a picture ID – well we’ll just say it was starting to feel dang near impossible. Plus, none of his accounts, for instance, his checking account, had her name on it, so we had to have major proofs of identification/affidavits for her to be able to draw those funds out of his account.

For weeks she felt betrayed and abandoned because she was not aware accounts had been changed or that she was no longer a signer. But we are family, and little by little we have put all the pieces together to make her a whole person again, in name and in spirit.  The next battle is to get her SSI benefits reinstated – which should go fairly smooth.

My point to you ladies today is this: never, ever lose who you are – as a person, or as a human being. Know your finances, don’t let yourselves be shut-out from banking accounts, and make a Will. I don’t care if you’re 35 years old – make a Will. If you have anything of value, monetarily or otherwise, that you want to go to someone specific – make a Will. Make sure you can access/be a co-signer, on all accounts so there are no radical surprises on top of the grief you are experiencing. Have a credit card that’s in YOUR name, whether you use it or not.

In what is already the darkest time of your life; don’t be left alone, dependent, lost and scared.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Beautiful Eloise

I can remember her knee’s creaking in the early morning hours as she walked down the hallway that opened into our bedroom doorways. I can remember her making the best tuna fish for sandwiches, with the mayonnaise I have gone though life loving, and no onions because I have never liked those. And in case you’re wondering she used Blue Plate and other than her, I am the only one in my family that uses that brand.

I can remember her famous cinnamon toast that she made at least once a week for breakfast. She made up her own – using both cinnamon & sugar – none of that store-bought stuff, and the house would be radiating with that smell of melted-butter and cinnamon.

Her fried chicken was the best around and so was her sweet tea. I can’t remember much of anything that she cooked that I didn’t like, but also, I was there for summer visits so I feel like she cooked all my favorites with intention.

At least one or two nights I would sleep with her and goodness did she snore. I would ask her to wait until I feel asleep and she could never seem to wait. I would nudge her and tell her she had fallen asleep and was snoring, and she would whisper, “No baby, I’m just resting my eyes”.

I can remember her smell, a combination of baby powder and Chantilly perfume. Her hair would smell like Aqua Net hairspray if we were going somewhere special for the day.

I can remember her bright green polyester pants and her old-timey rubber flip flops that sat by the back door, ready for yard-walking. Other than those rubber flip flops - at home, her size 5 teeny feet were barefoot.

I can remember she and I coloring in color books for hours at the time, while she watched her afternoon “stories” – The Edge of Night, A Secret Storm, and The Young and Restless. She also taught me how to cross-stitch one summer as I had grown out of coloring and had moved on to wanting to sew like she did.

But most of all, I can remember her laughter. My grand did we ever laugh a lot. And tickled; we’d both get our “tickle boxes” turned over, as she used to say, and we would laugh so hard our faces would turn red and we could barely breathe. She was in her sixty’s by then, but you would have thought she was a young teenage girl as silly as she let herself get when she was with me.

But I can’t remember her voice. She has been in heaven since 1987, she had her 104^th birthday on April 24^th, and I can’t remember her voice. I try and I try, I close my eyes, and listen hard inside my head/memory, but I can’t hear her. I don’t know how her, of all people who have left, I can’t hear her. 

But I know in my heart she’s still with me, I see signs of her surrounding me all the time. So, I guess until I see her again, the memories of her laughter, and the sightings of butterflies will have to do.

Welcome to Sprummer!

Welcome to Sprummer! We evidently are not going to experience anything close to Spring so we’ll move right onto summer! I mean, technically, we did get like 4 days of Spring. But it was hard to tell since it was sandwiched in between freezing-making-snowman-days and 85-degree-pool-days.

I just would have liked to have had the opportunity to ease into the warmer weather. Folks, it’s April and the high temperatures are already in the 80’s. WHY?!  Ya’ll know I am not a fan of extreme heat, the kind that has you sweating just to walk to the mailbox and back.

And I am sure we won’t have to worry about freezing temperature drop’s before Easter this year – it’s just not happening. So, ladies – you go right on ahead and wear that pretty pastel, sleeveless sundress to the Sunrise Service – and take a hand-fan, cause you’re going to need both in order to be comfortable.

I apologize for kind of being all over the place in this story today, but it kind of relates and it’s bursting inside my head to get out, so I’m just gonna talk about it anyway.

So, speaking of heat – you all already know that we’re doing a small re-model at my house. Adding-on an additional bathroom which will feed right off of our bedroom. The problem is, which it’s not really a problem but it is a bit of a deal – the place where we have picked for the entrance-way from one room to the other, to be cut-out, is right next to my bed, which is literally what is my bedroom window now. And guess what THAT is connected to and why it matters?!

BECAUSE – that is where MY window unit is! YIKES! I know right?! So last weekend, when all of this suddenly occurred to me, I told my husband we have GOT to come up with an alternate plan for that a/c unit. Like quickly, before they get to the part of cutting a door out – because that window unit has GOT to be relocated.

Now years ago, when we first installed that unit, we decided it didn’t look so bad, it was on the back of the house, nobody could really see it and it has served its purpose well. But now, the only option for another window for that unit is on the side of our house – where it’s ugly and most anybody can see it.

Ask me was it a struggle within me to move that unit, ask me did I care one iota who could see it from the road – ASK ME! Cause the answer is, not even a little bit. I cannot sleep without that north pole wind blowing in my bedroom every night – ugly or not.

So even if Sprummer is here – and it is my friends, it really is – I’m going to be alright. We’re moving that window unit this upcoming weekend and whenever it is that they are ready to cut that door – my comfort-ability won’t miss a beat!

I hope you all enjoy your Easter dinners, family and friends. Oh! And remember to where your sun-block, just in case the preacher goes into over-time!

I Just Need A Break

I watch the local news at 6 o’clock and the “big” national news at 6:30 – every single night, without fail. Many days I don’t want to watch. Many days I’m already in such a mood by the time I get home, the last thing I want to see is more things to make me angry or depress me. But still, I watch, because I feel like I need to know what’s going on both locally and in the world.

But I’m telling you folks, sometimes it feels like my days are numbered for even continuing that tradition. Great goodness it gets old listening to all that bad stuff. I guess at least the national news always tries to end on a good note, with a heart-warming storyline about one thing or another. But by then, you’re so worn out from the “real” news, you barely have it in you to care.

So, when I say, that me and Face Book might be about to part ways – there is a reason. I was introduced to Face Book in 2009 – the year my oldest child was leaving for graduate school in Tuscaloosa, Alabama – Roll Tide! I joined so that I would be able to keep up with the going’s on of college life away from home and I thought it would make the departure less sad.

I’ll be truthful and tell you it didn’t help much. I mean, I enjoyed seeing all the pictures and the smiling faces. But it was still five plus hours away instead of fifteen minutes – so tolerable it did make it – less sad – not so much.

And I’m not saying Face Book hasn’t been good to me in other ways; my goodness at all my old, long-time friends I have been able to find! It’s contributed to and help create – many luncheons back home over the years, and allowed me to sit next to, pray for, and laugh with, so many wonderful people I hadn’t seen since my school days.

I can see where they live, their hobbies, their grandchildren and children, and just what life is like for them as we have all obviously grown older in time. I absolutely do enjoy all of that – every single minute of it.

I’ve had more than several girlfriends affected by one cancer or another, and through prayers and daily cheers of support, I’d like to think my internet presence has been helpful in their lives and difficult journeys.

And lastly, I truly did like watching my youngest child grow-up in color – colored pictures that is. Because you know that generation was the first to arrive with cell phones plastered inside their palms and no event went by that wasn’t recorded without a picture and mostly likely, on Face Book.

But it seems to have become nothing more than a political forum these days, and nothing about any of that is usually kind. I won’t even list the potential target subjects – the whole world already knows.

My soul needs kindness and compassion not ugliness. My eyes need pretty flowers and butterflies. My heart needs to see love not hate.  Maybe I won’t leave, but I definitely need a break.

It's About Time!

I have lived in two different homes since I moved to Quincy, Florida in 1998 – both of them were single bath homes.  So, for the last 21 years, somehow, with anywhere from 2-4 people living in either one of those homes, we managed to survive with just one bathroom.

I DO NOT KNOW HOW. Through all the sicknesses, with sometimes multiple people being sick at once – you name it – it’s happened and no one killed anyone.

Now I will admit, when we first moved here, myself and my children lived out in the country and they learned very quickly, as children will do, how “convenient” it is to be a male sometimes and that our rather large yard was a wide-open range available for such things. However, they rarely strayed further than our huge front porch, so you had to announce yourself sometimes before stepping at the front door!

I will also say, when we made the big leap to move back into the city limits of Quincy, rehabilitation back to civilization was a little difficult for my youngest son. He was nine years old and he couldn’t understand why the great outdoors was NOT where he could take care of business anymore.

Well, he is grown and gone now and three became only two, so the one bathroom seemed to become more manageable again. The 30-minute showers, and catching up on his You Tube videos and Snapchats from the comfort of the only seat in the bathroom were also over.  Our one little bathroom was now available almost anytime you needed it once again!

Very recently, we had some life-changes in our home. My younger sister’s husband died very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, and she has some varied health limitations that will not allow her to live alone. For now, and the last month or so, she has been living with us. There are other plans in the works, but for now this is our situation. Needless to say, our little bathroom became very small again.

But guess what is FINALLY going to happen?! That’s right! My home is finally going to give birth to another bathroom! It is going to be huge! It is going to be beautiful! And, it is going to be mostly ALL MINE! HA!

Not really, but it will extend off the back of the house, more specifically our bedroom, so that I can step straight out of my room into my own private bathroom! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself!

We have been picking out bathroom cabinets, sinks, flooring, tile and showers. We’re at kind of a stand -off about the shower. I’m alright with just a shower, but I want a large one, certainly not one of those walk in and stand in one spot, showers. But I’m getting older, and I want a place to sit down, to shave my legs – because I promise you – the days of propping a leg up on a shower wall to shave are about over!

I’ll let you know how it goes. We are literally just getting started so I am SURE there will be many stories that feed off of this adventure!

Take The Time To Say Thank You

I read the columns/blogs of Sean of the South by Sean Dietrich every single day. He is like my devotional read first thing every morning. This morning his particular column was about saying thank you – to anyone and everyone who has done anything for you. To say thank you every day to someone for being kind, or maybe just for being themselves.

I’ll admit it sent my own mind rambling about who all I needed to thank on a daily basis. But not necessarily everyone in my life today – just two folks in particular – my parents.

Thank you both for being the parents that I needed - all the times that I needed you. The hard and stubborn times, the skipping school and getting caught times, the thought I knew it all times, and the thought my heart was breaking times.

For all the taking us on vacations times, the learning trips to places we thought inside our heads we wouldn't like but did – times. The letting me choose red bridesmaids dresses in 1984, when you really thought red was too a bold color for a church wedding.

Thank you for explaining what forgery was in such a way when I was 10 years old and had signed your name to a U-slip (for excessive talking if you can imagine that!) that it would stick with me forever. And thank you for telling me once during another growing-up lesson, "oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive". I have repeated that more times in my life than I care to admit, and fell down a few times from not doing it, when I knew better.

Thank you, Daddy, for the gifts of art that will be with me until I am no longer here myself. They hang from the walls in my home and speak volumes about the love that went into them.

Thank you both for creating me with kindness, maybe a little too much empathy, and many times, a bleeding heart. But mostly, thank you for making me strong. Strong enough to get through all the trials in my life: the wrong marriage making the right babies, the right job working for a difficult man, the very job which made me able to provide for my children on my own. And the strength to know it takes a village to do it right, and not be ashamed to call on that village when I needed to.

And strong enough to take on this second act of my life with both firmness and kindness and to be able to pull from my heart the right parts to get it done with tenderness and tenacity.

Ya’ll are my touchstone in life. You’re the place that I go when I need non-judgmental reinforcements and clear-minded direction. I love you both more than any words that I know how to use to make a sentence - and I always will. You are the parents some kids dream about having, and that you belong to me, makes me more proud than you could ever know.