Monday, April 18, 2011
A Story Of Love To My Son
If I had drawn a plan, written a dialog, drawn a sketch, or outlined a story, I could have never even come close to what he has become. To how perfect he is to me. He is the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate, intelligent son a mother could ever want. He is also flawed in many ways, but rarely can I admit that. I am blind to most everything but the good in him.
The path he has taken since birth has not been easy. The first two years of his life were spent with ear infections, two tubal surgeries and every antibiotic known to man. Allergies would plague him for the better part of his life. As well as migraines from the time he was eight years old, that would take a grown man down. He would define and discover himself later in his teenage years. Define and fit into a lifestyle that would scare me to death. But one that I knew, was necessary for him to be happy.
All the while excelling in a manner I could have never imagined. Working from the time he was fifteen years old, while dually attending high school, and college. Then at the young age of 18 years old, moving away from home. Finishing college, then taking a rest, and working a full time job. Almost three years later, he would find himself again. Apply to colleges to obtain his Masters Degree. And move away from home again. This time to another city. Another state.
My baby son is grown now. And he expressed to me just last night, how happy and exciting it is for him to turn 25 years old. So strange how the very same thing can mean such different things to two people who are so close. While I am so proud to see him grown and successful, it's just yet another step away from me. Another step in another direction, towards another lifetime. A lifetime, that will include me less and less as time moves on.
The first night Joshua was born, the nurse brought him in to me. Back then, babies did not stay in the room with you. And for whatever reason, the nurse lost track of time and left him with me for over hour longer than usual. As I lay in that hospital bed, with my teeny tiny baby laid up on my chest, sound asleep. There has never been a more peaceful feeling in my life. I have never felt so close to one human being as I did in that extra hour. Silent tears rolled down my face as I rubbed his back, and felt his gentle breathing. I knew, at that minute, I would never do anything that important again. I knew, I was meant to be this little boys mother and he was meant to be my son. I knew the love I had for him in that moment, could never be any stronger, no matter how much time should pass.
Happy Birthday Joshua Ray Helms. You have given me so many blessings. You helped make my world complete from the minute you took a breath. Today is the same as twenty five years ago. I could not love you more if I tried.