Saturday, January 29, 2011
Capture the Moments
So, while I have wasted a whole paragraph on those people, I think I have said enough to make me feel better. They don't deserve a whole page dedicated to their sorriness. So that part, stops here.
Please do not think, the restraint is self-driven. I have none. I have NO restraint when it comes to the injustices of life. Had I not had a beautiful experience, with a beautiful person, at the grocery store this morning..I could very well, still be ranting.
I was in the check out line, buying my weekly groceries. Mims was with me, he goes with me every week now. Josh used to help me before he moved and now, Zach is never home. Once the buggy gets half way full, I can no longer push or turn it without it causing me a back problem afterward. Anyway, I am checking out, and because of some items in my buggy, the little girl taking care of me, began to speak. She told me about her mother who has suffered with breast cancer. There was no one behind me, so even after ringing all of my grocery's up, she continued until the complete story was told. The little girl was probably in her early 20's. But already, seemed so mature for her age. She sounded so strong and so very proud of her mother.
As I stood there and listened to her story, it took every ounce of my being not to cry. For her, for her mother, for Patti, for my Aunt, for every woman I know, that has had the fear. The type of fear only a woman can know.
When she was done, she asked about me and my purchases. Did I mind sharing with her why they were being bought. So I began to tell her. About my very brave friend in Albany Georgia. The young girl seemed to find comfort in my words. Maybe less lonely. I was sure while I was disclosing..and talking..that Patti would not mind. Because I have hoped, as I am sure Patti has over the past few weeks, that someone, if they had the opportunity, would comfort her girls. Would tell them a personal story of survival. Or the story of a close friend or family members survival.
It matters that we listen when we should. I feel pretty sure God put me in front of that particular little girl today. What I am not sure of is, if it was for me, or for her. Probably both. I needed that little girl today, that I know.
A wonderful friend of mine sent me a personal inbox message last night. Expressing her concern for me. She said she knew I was upset and concerned about Patti, but that she felt like there may be something else that was bothering me.
My reply was that, there just seemed to be too much going on right now. Between Patti and Penny, and my own Aunt who is about one more treatment of radiation being shy of her last. As well as my parents, who seem to struggle with some health scare at least once a month now. And myself, not quite knowing what all is going on yet, can be as bad as knowing sometimes. The wait, and worry. All of us are getting older, and things are breaking down. Repairs are needed. I admit it's taking a small toll on me. So my solution, for myself, is to lay low, till the storm passes over. I work better that way. I try and bring whatever light I can for someone else..and worry about the rest later. It seems to make them feel better and it distracts me.
I know myself, just from writing this blog, just from opening my heart and telling some of my stories, I have helped people to feel better about themselves. I have had very personal, one on one conversations with people, who thought they were the only ones. We all spend so much time, guarding our secrets, our pasts, and our own personal pain, we forget the people we are keeping it from are the same. They are human beings. With human lives. And human mistakes.
Until about six months ago, I had not seen nor spoke to Patti Craver Duffy since our 10th grade year of high school. I attended one year of school with Patti and barely knew her then. So that now, I feel such an attachment is unexplainable to me. I choose to chalk it up to, she is just one more person I could have tried harder to know, all those years ago. I have been reunited with several girls, that I regret, I wasn't wise enough to know all those years ago, what wonderful friends they could have been for me.
Strangers who choose to sit down next to you at a doctor's office and ramble, they need you. They were chosen for you. Or you were chosen for them. Embrace the opportunity to be there for someone. My mantra, always and forever will be, there is a reason for everything.
I have a new friend today, and her name is Ali. I will remember to always ask about her mother. To ask how she is doing. To let Ali know, I will not forget her or her mother's story of struggle. I will always remember to do those things, because she took the opportunity today to bring comfort to me. Whether she knew it or not. And I hope I did the same for her.