We're All Still Here!

So, it's been quite a long time since I had anything that I could put into words; that I actually felt like putting into words. I woke up this morning and figured, what the heck, give it another go. I decided to talk about the rest of this year, since April was the last time my words were officially in print.

Actually, I'll backtrack a bit to last January, a trip home, and I lunch with friends. Haven't managed to do another one of those since. I need to get on that.

End of February, my sister's husband passed, very unexpectedly and suddenly. That is when all of our lives began to change - for the better. She came to live with us, my parents were still looking for a home in Quincy, and we would all settle into our "new" normal.

My parents officially moved here end of April, first of May. That of course was great news! Except the move was hard. But then again, nothing is easy in your late 70's. Heck, I was a big part of the move and I'm here to tell you, nothing is easy in your mid-50's! A lifetime of stuff is just difficult to go through, pack-up and move. But we did it! It was done. 

The end of May,  my mother came down with pneumonia and spent a day or two in the hospital. That was her first introduction to Capital Regional Hospital. And as you all know, even though she was back home and on medication, you don't just jump out of a bout with pneumonia.  There were boxes galore still needing to be unpacked - with no energy to do it. 

That was the happenings on Quail Roost Drive. Meanwhile, 10 minutes away on South Lowe Street, we were smack in the middle of a never-ending house renovation. The process which was said to take 8-10 weeks, started in March, we would not see the end of that project until late August. That was very possibly the longest five months of my life.

End of June I would reunite with my long-time friend, Darla and finally get to meet the man of her dreams over an early dinner in Marianna, Florida. Plenty of laughter and hugs, just not enough time.

First of September, my sister who had been living with us since the end of February, left us, to take her place, acquaint herself with her very own bedroom, with my parents at Quail Roost. They took special pains to have her room decorated and made to suit her tastes, so that she would feel at home once she arrived.

Everything was gliding along, seemingly; one by one, they were unloading boxes and arranging their new home to fit their needs.

Second week of  September, Mom fell ill again. She was admitted to Capital Regional once more - this visit lasted 19 days, including a journey with sepsis, diverticulitis and a major surgery, before it was all said and done.

She comes home and it's close to October now. She's in full recovery-mode, or trying to be. But it's hard. And I hate to keep repeating myself, but a major surgery in your late 70's is no joke. As a matter of fact, my mom is one of the toughest people I have ever known, and she was struggling.

Middle of October, I had surgery to have a hernia removed - something that I had been putting off for a year or two. The surgery was uncomplicated and healed as such.

Thanksgiving was spent with family, everyone was doing well, and life was good on Lowe Street. December rolls around, 2nd week, and she is sick again. She is admitted once more to Capital Regional, this time with pneumonia and strep. They keep her for 4 days. The next week she went back for her post-op checkup and she was admitted once again for an irregular heartbeat. Her b/p meds were changed, she came home 2 days later, December 20th, 2 days from her 79th birthday.

Do we know all of the nurses staff at Capital Regional yet? No. And no offense, but we know everybody we want to know at this point.

So to summarize, if you ask me how my 2019 went - I don't have a lot of positive things to say about it - but there is this:

My parents DID get moved down here, and I am telling you now, I could not have imagined going through the last 8 months with them being at a distance of almost 2 hours on a one way trip. I just can't. That they have been less than 10 minutes from us, and no more than 40 minutes to the hospital for visits in Tallahassee - well I just can't tell you how much that as meant.

My sister's husband is no longer with us, but his death brought her back to all of us - and it brought her back to life. She is whole new person, in mind, body and soul. I'm so proud of her, for her, I have no words other than  to say sometimes there truly are good blessings that come from bad happenings.

My kids are doing good. Life is treating them both well, it's giving them everything back that they seem to be giving to it. They both have wonderful, loving partners, comfortable places to live, and jobs that bring them not only monetary value - but joy. And as we all know, if you can like what you do every day - your life is just that much more enriched with the golds so many others are seeking to find. I haven't seen my oldest in two years - but there are talks of a Spring visit and I'm crossing my fingers.

And lastly, my husband and I are loving our new made-for-Hollywood bathroom, our new floors and again, we LOVE having "our people" right here, right where we can get to them, help them, with anything and everything they may need, with a quickness. There is something to be said for peace of mind - and if we don't have anything else - we have that.

So for 2020 - I'm hoping for less sickness. That's it. Sure, we could all plan for this or strive for that; but the bottom line is: if we all stay healthy, we're still employed or happily retired, and we're all still on the green side of the grass - the rest is just bonus.

Happy New year Folks - make it the best you can!


Our year in pictures in no particular order:

4th Of July with some long time friends of my parents - it was a good day! 

:

January Girls Lunch 

Everybody that came! 

Moving Day

Happier Days - never thought I'd see something like this...makes my heart happy. 

Darla and Stan - another heart happy moment

Thanksgiving and family

The beginning 

Mother's Day

Another Thanksgiving shot 

Christmas Day! 

Love this - Mother's Day 

A wedding, and a dance with my baby boy 

Surgery day! 

Ashley's Birthday!

My daddy and his sister Amanda

Xian and J

Zach and Megan 

Love Hard, Love Always

A friend of a friend's mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My friend asked if she could share my experience with her friend.

Of course I said yes, but it would only be my side - from the outside looking in. It was one of the top five most horrible days of my life when I realized what was really happening. The sense of loss is staggering, and a little unreasonable, given that they are still here.

If any part of my story helps someone else cope, deal or figure out what they're witnessing - you are always more than welcome.

It's heartbreaking - no doubt. At first you feel like they're already gone. But you learn fast, that while so much of them is still here, learn to love what you have, whatever it happens to be that day, because it will be different all the time. It is for me - even now.

If I spent too much time crying or being sad, I'd miss the the days that are still good ones. But that doesn't mean, after a days visit, even a good one, that I don't feel sorry for myself and for him, and cry on the way back home. And that's alright - because it's a sad, horrible situation.

It's hard not grieve like they're already gone - but hopefully you figure out that they are still here, it doesn't help - and you just have to figure out a way in.

I'm okay now - but the day my Daddy doesn't know me, well, that will become another "worst day of my life".

The biggest truth I can offer is how many times you will find a new "okay". You'll get past the shock of a horrible new thing, and sadly, it will become familiar, and you'll be okay until the next "new" horrible thing comes along.

The other biggest thing is to pray those times come far apart. Love them as hard as you can while you still have them, while they still know you, and especially after they don't. It's my understanding that they can become scared of you - their wife, their daughter, or their son - once they no longer know who you are. That makes me the most sad I think - that my daddy would ever be scared of me. Love hard, love always.

THE BIG MOVE

The Newest Addition to Quincy, Florida Living! 

Well folks, I have held this in for as long as I could possibly could. At times, I have felt like I was underwater and someone was smashing my head down with their heavy hand - just trying to see how long I could stand it.

It's been a long time coming, for me at least. I have wanted it, prayed for it, and finally - it's here. I know there are mixed feelings for some people wrapped up in this deal and I fully understand that. Once you have found it, settled into and love it, you don't want to leave it. It's yours, you looked for it forever, finally found it and you never wanted to leave.

But life and circumstance have stepped in and said Whoa Nelly! We're going to have to go in this direction now. My heart hurts for you and feels for you - but it also sings. It sings loud and it sings excitedly and proudly. Admittedly, many of those feelings are selfishly for myself and mine - because again - I have prayed for this more times than I could tell you.

I know what a monstrous event this feels like for them - moving themselves and their entire lives in a truck, two hours up the road. I also know, to most, that doesn't seem like much of a big deal - but I'm only 55 years old and I have accumulated a lot of life in my home too - believe me, it's a big deal.

But once it's all said and done - my folks, the people who created me, will be no more than ten minutes away from me whether I am at home or at work. I cannot tell all folks what relief and joy that brings to me and mine. I will be able to see them most anytime I want to - after work, on weekends, Sunday and Saturday lunches - just the thought of all that instant access make me plum giddy.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but my thought is this: whatever comes our way in sickness and in health, for better or worse - we will all be right here together to help one another get through it. I hope in time the love for where they were and their life before, shifts to where they will be now and all the hopes for the better lives for us all it will bring.

Needless to say - this will absolutely be the best Mother's Day present this daughter could have ever wanted to receive. To have her mama, her best friend, so close that she can almost reach out and touch her. To know that the woman she called and talked to on the phone, everyday without fail, sometimes wondering if she was reading words and moods differently than they seem to be conveyed, and worrying about that same difference, causing her nights to be restless - was about to be over. If I need to know - I can just go see for myself!

Happy Mother's Day to THE best Mama any girl could ever ask for - our days are about to be better than we could have ever imagined and you will never know how much I'll treasure this time in our lives as adults and friends, not just mother and daughter.

So without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen of Gadsden County - on Monday, May 13th - my parents, Jean and David Mount - will officially be homeowners here in Quincy, Florida! If you see them (or my sister Ashley) out and about, and you will before long, please welcome them with all the open arms and kindness that you welcomed me and mine almost 21 years ago now. I know they will come to love this place and all of you - just as I have over the years. Quincy is a magical little town - and I pray they can feel that and come to appreciate it just as I have.

Being Financially Aware Is Important

My sister’s husband passed away, this past February 22^nd. He was only 56 years old; he hadn’t been sick or ill, it wasn’t expected. He did have a few health problems like many of us at that age, but he was treating them with daily medications, so again, it wasn’t expected.

Now pay attention because this is important: my sister is 50 years old, and has been qualified for disability for about 10 years or so now, and not able to work. Notice that I said qualified, but I did not say, she has been receiving disability. She spent several years in court as many people do, with doctor reports and such, trying to make a judge understand her limitations – to no avail. Finally, someone saw the light, granted the motion for benefits and she received them for about a year or so.

Her husband then changed jobs, and with that new job came a pay increase, and with that new pay increase, the disability benefits all but disappeared, because now the over-all income in their home was above the rate for her to continue to receive those benefits previously awarded.

Fast forward to February when her husband passed. They had moved many times over the years, and somehow all of my sister’s personal legal documents were nowhere to be found. And I mean all of them: birth certificate, marriage license, last known picture ID as she is no longer licensed to drive – nothing. In our hands, all we were left holding proving her to be the wife of her deceased husband was a death certificate – but nothing else even to prove that was really her.

When I tell you what a vicious cycle it is trying to get proof of all those documents without a picture ID – well we’ll just say it was starting to feel dang near impossible. Plus, none of his accounts, for instance, his checking account, had her name on it, so we had to have major proofs of identification/affidavits for her to be able to draw those funds out of his account.

For weeks she felt betrayed and abandoned because she was not aware accounts had been changed or that she was no longer a signer. But we are family, and little by little we have put all the pieces together to make her a whole person again, in name and in spirit.  The next battle is to get her SSI benefits reinstated – which should go fairly smooth.

My point to you ladies today is this: never, ever lose who you are – as a person, or as a human being. Know your finances, don’t let yourselves be shut-out from banking accounts, and make a Will. I don’t care if you’re 35 years old – make a Will. If you have anything of value, monetarily or otherwise, that you want to go to someone specific – make a Will. Make sure you can access/be a co-signer, on all accounts so there are no radical surprises on top of the grief you are experiencing. Have a credit card that’s in YOUR name, whether you use it or not.

In what is already the darkest time of your life; don’t be left alone, dependent, lost and scared.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Beautiful Eloise

I can remember her knee’s creaking in the early morning hours as she walked down the hallway that opened into our bedroom doorways. I can remember her making the best tuna fish for sandwiches, with the mayonnaise I have gone though life loving, and no onions because I have never liked those. And in case you’re wondering she used Blue Plate and other than her, I am the only one in my family that uses that brand.

I can remember her famous cinnamon toast that she made at least once a week for breakfast. She made up her own – using both cinnamon & sugar – none of that store-bought stuff, and the house would be radiating with that smell of melted-butter and cinnamon.

Her fried chicken was the best around and so was her sweet tea. I can’t remember much of anything that she cooked that I didn’t like, but also, I was there for summer visits so I feel like she cooked all my favorites with intention.

At least one or two nights I would sleep with her and goodness did she snore. I would ask her to wait until I feel asleep and she could never seem to wait. I would nudge her and tell her she had fallen asleep and was snoring, and she would whisper, “No baby, I’m just resting my eyes”.

I can remember her smell, a combination of baby powder and Chantilly perfume. Her hair would smell like Aqua Net hairspray if we were going somewhere special for the day.

I can remember her bright green polyester pants and her old-timey rubber flip flops that sat by the back door, ready for yard-walking. Other than those rubber flip flops - at home, her size 5 teeny feet were barefoot.

I can remember she and I coloring in color books for hours at the time, while she watched her afternoon “stories” – The Edge of Night, A Secret Storm, and The Young and Restless. She also taught me how to cross-stitch one summer as I had grown out of coloring and had moved on to wanting to sew like she did.

But most of all, I can remember her laughter. My grand did we ever laugh a lot. And tickled; we’d both get our “tickle boxes” turned over, as she used to say, and we would laugh so hard our faces would turn red and we could barely breathe. She was in her sixty’s by then, but you would have thought she was a young teenage girl as silly as she let herself get when she was with me.

But I can’t remember her voice. She has been in heaven since 1987, she had her 104^th birthday on April 24^th, and I can’t remember her voice. I try and I try, I close my eyes, and listen hard inside my head/memory, but I can’t hear her. I don’t know how her, of all people who have left, I can’t hear her. 

But I know in my heart she’s still with me, I see signs of her surrounding me all the time. So, I guess until I see her again, the memories of her laughter, and the sightings of butterflies will have to do.

Welcome to Sprummer!

Welcome to Sprummer! We evidently are not going to experience anything close to Spring so we’ll move right onto summer! I mean, technically, we did get like 4 days of Spring. But it was hard to tell since it was sandwiched in between freezing-making-snowman-days and 85-degree-pool-days.

I just would have liked to have had the opportunity to ease into the warmer weather. Folks, it’s April and the high temperatures are already in the 80’s. WHY?!  Ya’ll know I am not a fan of extreme heat, the kind that has you sweating just to walk to the mailbox and back.

And I am sure we won’t have to worry about freezing temperature drop’s before Easter this year – it’s just not happening. So, ladies – you go right on ahead and wear that pretty pastel, sleeveless sundress to the Sunrise Service – and take a hand-fan, cause you’re going to need both in order to be comfortable.

I apologize for kind of being all over the place in this story today, but it kind of relates and it’s bursting inside my head to get out, so I’m just gonna talk about it anyway.

So, speaking of heat – you all already know that we’re doing a small re-model at my house. Adding-on an additional bathroom which will feed right off of our bedroom. The problem is, which it’s not really a problem but it is a bit of a deal – the place where we have picked for the entrance-way from one room to the other, to be cut-out, is right next to my bed, which is literally what is my bedroom window now. And guess what THAT is connected to and why it matters?!

BECAUSE – that is where MY window unit is! YIKES! I know right?! So last weekend, when all of this suddenly occurred to me, I told my husband we have GOT to come up with an alternate plan for that a/c unit. Like quickly, before they get to the part of cutting a door out – because that window unit has GOT to be relocated.

Now years ago, when we first installed that unit, we decided it didn’t look so bad, it was on the back of the house, nobody could really see it and it has served its purpose well. But now, the only option for another window for that unit is on the side of our house – where it’s ugly and most anybody can see it.

Ask me was it a struggle within me to move that unit, ask me did I care one iota who could see it from the road – ASK ME! Cause the answer is, not even a little bit. I cannot sleep without that north pole wind blowing in my bedroom every night – ugly or not.

So even if Sprummer is here – and it is my friends, it really is – I’m going to be alright. We’re moving that window unit this upcoming weekend and whenever it is that they are ready to cut that door – my comfort-ability won’t miss a beat!

I hope you all enjoy your Easter dinners, family and friends. Oh! And remember to where your sun-block, just in case the preacher goes into over-time!

I Just Need A Break

I watch the local news at 6 o’clock and the “big” national news at 6:30 – every single night, without fail. Many days I don’t want to watch. Many days I’m already in such a mood by the time I get home, the last thing I want to see is more things to make me angry or depress me. But still, I watch, because I feel like I need to know what’s going on both locally and in the world.

But I’m telling you folks, sometimes it feels like my days are numbered for even continuing that tradition. Great goodness it gets old listening to all that bad stuff. I guess at least the national news always tries to end on a good note, with a heart-warming storyline about one thing or another. But by then, you’re so worn out from the “real” news, you barely have it in you to care.

So, when I say, that me and Face Book might be about to part ways – there is a reason. I was introduced to Face Book in 2009 – the year my oldest child was leaving for graduate school in Tuscaloosa, Alabama – Roll Tide! I joined so that I would be able to keep up with the going’s on of college life away from home and I thought it would make the departure less sad.

I’ll be truthful and tell you it didn’t help much. I mean, I enjoyed seeing all the pictures and the smiling faces. But it was still five plus hours away instead of fifteen minutes – so tolerable it did make it – less sad – not so much.

And I’m not saying Face Book hasn’t been good to me in other ways; my goodness at all my old, long-time friends I have been able to find! It’s contributed to and help create – many luncheons back home over the years, and allowed me to sit next to, pray for, and laugh with, so many wonderful people I hadn’t seen since my school days.

I can see where they live, their hobbies, their grandchildren and children, and just what life is like for them as we have all obviously grown older in time. I absolutely do enjoy all of that – every single minute of it.

I’ve had more than several girlfriends affected by one cancer or another, and through prayers and daily cheers of support, I’d like to think my internet presence has been helpful in their lives and difficult journeys.

And lastly, I truly did like watching my youngest child grow-up in color – colored pictures that is. Because you know that generation was the first to arrive with cell phones plastered inside their palms and no event went by that wasn’t recorded without a picture and mostly likely, on Face Book.

But it seems to have become nothing more than a political forum these days, and nothing about any of that is usually kind. I won’t even list the potential target subjects – the whole world already knows.

My soul needs kindness and compassion not ugliness. My eyes need pretty flowers and butterflies. My heart needs to see love not hate.  Maybe I won’t leave, but I definitely need a break.

It's About Time!

I have lived in two different homes since I moved to Quincy, Florida in 1998 – both of them were single bath homes.  So, for the last 21 years, somehow, with anywhere from 2-4 people living in either one of those homes, we managed to survive with just one bathroom.

I DO NOT KNOW HOW. Through all the sicknesses, with sometimes multiple people being sick at once – you name it – it’s happened and no one killed anyone.

Now I will admit, when we first moved here, myself and my children lived out in the country and they learned very quickly, as children will do, how “convenient” it is to be a male sometimes and that our rather large yard was a wide-open range available for such things. However, they rarely strayed further than our huge front porch, so you had to announce yourself sometimes before stepping at the front door!

I will also say, when we made the big leap to move back into the city limits of Quincy, rehabilitation back to civilization was a little difficult for my youngest son. He was nine years old and he couldn’t understand why the great outdoors was NOT where he could take care of business anymore.

Well, he is grown and gone now and three became only two, so the one bathroom seemed to become more manageable again. The 30-minute showers, and catching up on his You Tube videos and Snapchats from the comfort of the only seat in the bathroom were also over.  Our one little bathroom was now available almost anytime you needed it once again!

Very recently, we had some life-changes in our home. My younger sister’s husband died very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, and she has some varied health limitations that will not allow her to live alone. For now, and the last month or so, she has been living with us. There are other plans in the works, but for now this is our situation. Needless to say, our little bathroom became very small again.

But guess what is FINALLY going to happen?! That’s right! My home is finally going to give birth to another bathroom! It is going to be huge! It is going to be beautiful! And, it is going to be mostly ALL MINE! HA!

Not really, but it will extend off the back of the house, more specifically our bedroom, so that I can step straight out of my room into my own private bathroom! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself!

We have been picking out bathroom cabinets, sinks, flooring, tile and showers. We’re at kind of a stand -off about the shower. I’m alright with just a shower, but I want a large one, certainly not one of those walk in and stand in one spot, showers. But I’m getting older, and I want a place to sit down, to shave my legs – because I promise you – the days of propping a leg up on a shower wall to shave are about over!

I’ll let you know how it goes. We are literally just getting started so I am SURE there will be many stories that feed off of this adventure!

Take The Time To Say Thank You

I read the columns/blogs of Sean of the South by Sean Dietrich every single day. He is like my devotional read first thing every morning. This morning his particular column was about saying thank you – to anyone and everyone who has done anything for you. To say thank you every day to someone for being kind, or maybe just for being themselves.

I’ll admit it sent my own mind rambling about who all I needed to thank on a daily basis. But not necessarily everyone in my life today – just two folks in particular – my parents.

Thank you both for being the parents that I needed - all the times that I needed you. The hard and stubborn times, the skipping school and getting caught times, the thought I knew it all times, and the thought my heart was breaking times.

For all the taking us on vacations times, the learning trips to places we thought inside our heads we wouldn't like but did – times. The letting me choose red bridesmaids dresses in 1984, when you really thought red was too a bold color for a church wedding.

Thank you for explaining what forgery was in such a way when I was 10 years old and had signed your name to a U-slip (for excessive talking if you can imagine that!) that it would stick with me forever. And thank you for telling me once during another growing-up lesson, "oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive". I have repeated that more times in my life than I care to admit, and fell down a few times from not doing it, when I knew better.

Thank you, Daddy, for the gifts of art that will be with me until I am no longer here myself. They hang from the walls in my home and speak volumes about the love that went into them.

Thank you both for creating me with kindness, maybe a little too much empathy, and many times, a bleeding heart. But mostly, thank you for making me strong. Strong enough to get through all the trials in my life: the wrong marriage making the right babies, the right job working for a difficult man, the very job which made me able to provide for my children on my own. And the strength to know it takes a village to do it right, and not be ashamed to call on that village when I needed to.

And strong enough to take on this second act of my life with both firmness and kindness and to be able to pull from my heart the right parts to get it done with tenderness and tenacity.

Ya’ll are my touchstone in life. You’re the place that I go when I need non-judgmental reinforcements and clear-minded direction. I love you both more than any words that I know how to use to make a sentence - and I always will. You are the parents some kids dream about having, and that you belong to me, makes me more proud than you could ever know.

Let Us Pray

Last week was as an eye-opening week as I have had in a very long time. For three solid days that weekend, each day was filled with a phone call that would be bring both scary and awful news. None of the news was related and honestly, after it was all over, it was kind of like an outer body experience.

Saturday morning, I would receive a call from one of my co-worker’s/dear friend's family, letting me know that my co-worker had been in a bad car accident. She was hurt pretty bad, banged up and bruised up, black eyes, swollen face and her whole left side was bruised and sore. I have never been so thankful to know someone was alright! I cooked her up a pot of chicken and rice and took it to her Monday morning, and while she said she looked better than after it first happened – her injuries were still very apparent. But she survived and she is going to be alright.

Saturday night I received a call about 8pm. My youngest son was working a prescribed burn in Pensacola Florida and had been there about five days already at the time of the call. It was from a co-worker, calling to tell me first and foremost, that my son and his crew were alright, but that another crew member from another forestry team had just been killed and my son, being his burn partner was unfortunately a witness to his death. He’s 24 years old, but I don’t care what age you are in life, those sights cannot be unseen and the memory will be with you forever. The gentleman who died leaves behind a wife and three children, he was only 38 years old himself. By the time you are reading this, my son will have traveled back to Pensacola for his funeral.

And the following Sunday I received a company-wide text about a man and his wife, residents of Bristol Florida, who were electrocuted working a clean-up day at the local high school. The father also worked with/for another company who our company is affiliated with in business, and it was quite the horrific shock for us all. The couple leaves behind 3 children as well, and I am told, a large family in Bristol that should be a wonderful support system for their children.

I spent a lot of time afterward, thinking about these three horrible events – all unrelated - but all heartbreaking none the less. It’s times like those that so many old sayings come to mind. Every day is a gift, and be thankful for every day that you are able to open your eyes and know you’re still alive, and the best, tell someone you love them today, tomorrow is not promised. 

I can’t imagine the heartache that is running rampant in Pensacola and Bristol Florida. I can’t imagine all of these children losing their parent(s) and how they will manage without them. I don’t know how one goes about moving forward. All I, we, can do is pray. Pray for them all as hard as we can and know that the good Lord had a plan all along.

Bundle up! Nah..Just Kidding!!!

It’s a confusing sight to wake-up to greenish/yellow dust covering everything in sight, and then, to cap it off, a white crunchy layer of frost. Man alive! I just thought me and my sinuses had seen and sucked into my nostrils, a lot of pollen just a few weeks ago. But good grand – I hadn’t seen nothing yet – compared to what is happening now.

And I also knew, that we were not done with – for the sake of using standard terminology – we’ll call it winter. I mean this is Florida so we jokingly refer to our occasional 30-degree mornings as winter, but you know, let’s keep it real and acknowledge that we really don’t even know what winter is! A real winter is ski caps, layered clothing, and snow boots. Some days, it’s real hard to even spot a windbreaker on anybody’s back.

Matter of fact, last week, before this last “winter storm” came blasting in, it was 80-something-degrees and folks were walking around in their khaki shorts and sandals. And believe me, they didn’t have to dig far into their closets to find them again, because Florida folks don’t bag up summer and winter clothes. We have a year-round line of clothing that hangs from the closet rod, and a jacket that sits on that same rod to the far right, just in case of an emergency.  Heck, I have some friends that live in the southern region of Florida that were building sand castles at the beach just last week!

The switch on my air conditioner remote will have to be replaced far before the actual unit itself gives up and dies. I am constantly punching the up and down button for whatever weather the day may bring. And you know that funky smell your heater always seems to put out the first time you turn it on? Well, we don’t just smell that when fall rolls around, I’ve smelled that three times this “winter” because we’ve also used the a/c in between times.

And God Bless America! You know I told ya’ll that my husband had advised me the last time I asked him to move my front porch plants to safety, that he wasn’t doing it again. They would stay in a covered, safe area until spring. Well, it was 80 degrees for gosh sakes and they needed some sunshine, so you know he really did move them for me. So, the other night when I spotted the cold snap coming our way on the weather channel – you already know what I asked him to do. I mean my Angel Wing Begonias already had blooms for gosh sakes! We couldn’t let them die now, we’ve protected them for months! Well, he moved them, but there was a generous amount of grumbling involved, and I think I may have heard something that sounded like my name with some spicy adjectives slung-up in there as well.

Cover your noses, stay off the porch rockers, and try not breathe while you’re out there folks – that pollen is deadly and so is the next heat wave that’s just around the corner.

Spring Forward!

In exactly ten days everything will change. My evenings as I know them now, will not be the same for quite some time. Much more will be expected of me, of my time, my efforts, and my contribution to life in general.

We have a light system on our front porch that is set-up to come on at dusk each evening. It has a sensor that faces the sun as it goes down, and when it gets to a certain point of lightness, it comes on. It used to pop on at 5:45 pm, but slowly, over the last couple of months, that has changed almost weekly. Last night it came on at 6:22pm. Why you ask?

Well, because it’s staying light, longer. And it won’t be much longer before that contraption won’t pop-on until close to 8:30 pm or so. And in the dead middle of summer, it probably won’t come on until almost 9pm.

It stays on for 6 hours after activation so we may have to adjust the timing on it when it gets to that point as I don’t think I want that light still burning at 2am or after.

Many more changes are about to happen besides just a light going on and off at regulated times; so many things are about to totally change-up my nightly routine and I’m not all that happy about it.

I’m a self-proclaimed hermit for the most part; as a matter of fact, in my next life it would be most fitting for me to come back as a bear. I would love to come back as a butterfly, but I don’t see graceful and beautiful in the cards for me, in this life or another.

I’m a social bee when I need/want to be, but I’m getting older now, and night time activities which run into darkness are just not my thing. By the time dark-thirty rolls around, I want to be in my own home, safe, and relaxing with a good book or my favorite television show. Going to the movies, and extra-long-timed functions are made for daylight and weekends in my opinion.

But man, oh man, when that time Springs Forward ten days from now, I’ll have to leave my day clothes on longer. You never know who’s going to stop by, but they rarely do it after dark, no matter what time it is or what season. I can’t be sitting around in my nightclothes with folks rapping on my storm door, wanting to come in for a chat!

And you know, with the time change also comes weather changes, yard changes and flowering plants – changes. Can’t very well be dragging a water hose around my yard in my night clothes either!

So, this is everyone’s more than fair/advanced warning: I may very well be a major grump for a week or two after my hour gets snatched from me. I know I’m going to be sleepy and likely pretty irritable about it, so keep your distance and give me a chance to acclimate.

It’s coming folks – whether you’re excited or dreading it – it’s coming.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I think I’ve made it pretty clear in the past, that squirrels are not my favorite animal. They are indeed pesky, as I have seen and heard them labeled many times, and additionally, they are greedy hogs as well in my opinion. They climb up onto my feeders, sitting right square in the middle of my one particular feeder that is a plate, and gobble that food down until it’s all but gone; like they own the joint.

We’ve tried doing several things to deter them, popping them (at them is more accurate) with BB guns, a couple of shots with a pellet gun from my husband who is a better shot than me, and I’m sure my surrounding neighbor’s most favorite method, is me, running out onto my porch, (sometimes still in my nightclothes) waving my arms, clapping my hands, and hollering like a wild woman, trying to shoo them off my feeders!

Well a week or so ago, I decided enough was enough! I got on the internet and started looking for feeders that advertised to keep the squirrels out. I roamed and roamed, seeing all the ones on there, that I had already seen and heard were not very effective. Then lo and behold – there it was! The King Daddy Dog of feeders! It was called Wild Bill’s 8 Station Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder! It is wired to deliver a small shock for anything “heavy” that lands on the plate below the feed stations. The instructions assured me that no bird landing on it – other than maybe a fat dove – which by the way eat too much of my feed as well – should get shocked.

Oh, but I am not done. THEN – I ordered a gizmo that looks like an old timey slinky. The point is to put it on your shepherds hook that is holding your feeder or plate, and there is no way a squirrel can shimmy up the hook. The slinky keeps bouncing him back off!

Now – all the ordering is done but I couldn’t just sit and wait for all that to deliver, I still needed to take some kind of action to stop it until my items came in. so I got the bright idea to grease down my shepherd’s hook! I took some olive oil and went out side and sopped that hook down with the oil.

My items have all since come in and been put-up and activated – however – I have been at work all week so I don’t know how it’s been going except that I have a lot more feed still in my feeders each day. BUT – I do know how that greasy hook worked and if you want a sure-fire, quick way to stop the squirrel action – DO IT! I laughed so hard watching those squirrels trying to get a grip on that hook and just slide right back down!

I’ll be home this weekend and able to watch how Wild Bill and the slinky are working. One way or another – my birds will no longer be terrified to eat at their stations in my yard – I’m making sure of it!

And The Green Flag Drops!

And it begins. Three days from now life changes will happen that will put my married life to the backseat and my social life straight into the driver’s seat and full throttle ahead.

Every weekend will be filled with speed and excitement – minus the romance; as one my husband’s favorite sayings because of his stature (though it’s perfect to me) is: he was built for speed and romance. The other is: “I may not be tallest tree on the mountain but I’m the sweetest shrub in the valley.”  I have been his life partner and now married partner for a total of almost 21 years, and yes, I have heard those two sayings often. He actually has many Kornbread’isms – but that’s another story for another day.

At any rate, I won’t be homeless but I will be practically husband-less for the next 10 months. I have spent the last two months trying to get all of my piled-up honey-do’s completed, because there will be none of that in the months to come. Anything I need will be worked-in between commercials and television scheduling and unless I’m on fire, the house is on fire, or his vehicle is on fire, I need not come to him for much of anything!

Yes, my husband has a mistress; albeit it’s his part-time mistress, the time and attention it takes from me is all the same. And I’m sure you’re asking yourselves how I have allowed this to happen, and the truth is, I don’t quite know myself.  

I mean I knew it, I was of sound mind and body when I started dating him all those years ago, and certainly by the time I married him in 2006; but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I thought some of that interest would fade with time. That other things would become more important – like fishing and gardening. Okay, gardening is a stretch beyond ANY man’s imagination of something more exciting and fun to do than to sit and watch a NASCAR race for hours on end, but geez!

However, somewhere along the way, and those millions of circles around a track of asphalt, I figured out a way to make myself just as happy as he seems to be. I learned that as long as I had him something here to eat, he really didn’t notice whether I was around or not, so I found other things for me to do that were exciting FOR me.

I see a lot of chick movies and I eat a lot of popcorn. I catch up with girlfriends doing fun things like walking through plant nurseries in 100 degree heat, looking at all the pretty flowers. I catch up on my reading list, and of course, when his races are not on, I am catching up on my television shows I had to record.

These coming months of “separation” do us both a little good. I think it’s healthy for partners/spouses to have different interests. But even so, I appreciate the race free weekend days – because the lake will be calling our name and we can do something together that we both love – FISH!

The Best Kind of Valentine's

For those of you sitting around right now, feeling down or sad, feeling left out and lonely, because you think when all those flowers arrived at work today for someone else, and because you didn’t get any, that no one loves you – no one cares about you? Well let me tell you why I know someone does.

If someone spoke to you today on their way into the grocery store, the post office or the hardware store, they care about you. If someone held the door for you while you stepped up the pace to walk into the doctor’s office this morning – someone cares. If a friend called you out of the blue today to see how you’re doing, someone cares. And whether you think so or not, even if the only interaction you have today is at a graveside, as you grieve someone who has been lost, or even someone who has had heaven as a new residence for quite some time, the memories alone, are proof someone loved and cared about you.

If your mail gets put in the right box every day, yes, someone is doing their job, but they care enough about you to do it right. If the woman standing next to you in line in the drizzling rain, offers to share her umbrella with you as you stood there with none – someone cares. If you’re at the dentist office for your regular check-up and the lady up front is kind enough to check on your husband as he sits and waits anxiously for you to come back out – someone cares. And if the stranger who rolls you out of the hospital in the mandatory wheelchair, bothers to make small talk all the way out of the building – someone cares about you.

If the cashier chases you down in the parking lot because you left one of your bags on her counter -someone cares. If the pharmacy tech peels the 50% off sticker on your tissue box while totaling your order (because you forgot to do it) – someone cares about you. If you get a random card in the mail, no matter the day or reason, holiday or not – somebody cares. And if the car in front of you pays your order before you even pull-up in line to pay – someone cares about you.

The thing is folks, candy, cards, flowers, nice dinners, and stuffed animals are all very nice gestures. But so is some fried spam that my husband cooked for me while I was at the hairdresser until almost 7pm, and starving when I finally got home and walked in the door, so that I didn’t have to do anything but sit down and eat. Or when he’s going out of town before garbage day, he empties all the trash in the house anyway, and rolls it to the curb so I don’t have to – that’s also love. And when he’s eating, no matter what it is, he always offers me some before he even takes a bite.

I don’t know about you, but most times, I would rather have all the little pieces of love and caring year-round’, than that once a year stuff anyway! 

ICICLE ROOFTOPS!!!!

Lawns and rooves resembling frosted vanilla-crème cupcakes. Flowers, that just weeks before were hidden with straw, but balmy conditions that caused them to burst back through, are now brown and welted from freezer burn. The Cherry Blossom trees that adorn three places in my yard are the only living tree or plant that has been able to withstand the iceberg we experienced and continued to hold its blooms.

I’ve always heard that birds store food away for cold winters like these, but I haven’t seen any decline in their feeding schedule at my house – even the mockingbirds who never eat out of my feeders are bullying and crowding everyone else out, trying to get to some food.

My husbands’ biceps have increased tremendously, if from nothing else, but toting huge pots of front porch plants back and forth from the porch to the safety of our carport. Every time the temperature is going to dip below freezing, I ask him to please put them back under the carport again. But then the sun comes back out for about a week, and my porch looks empty and sad, and I ask him to move them all back again.

One thing I know for sure, he will never agree to buy huge/heavy pots again, and until we hit a streak of a promised above 35-degree weather again – he will not be moving those pots for me no matter how much I whine, sad-face or pout at him about it.

Our security/border fence on one-side of our yard came down (more like got destroyed) during Hurricane Michael. And while we were blessed that is all that happened to us structurally, it’s been better than three months now, and we were past ready for it to be put back up.

Everyone else, builders that is, were so busy making actual homes livable again for the thousand of people who need their help, so we knew we would have to hire either individual help or do it ourselves.

This past week was the coldest week of our year so far, and as it turned out, it was the week my husband didn’t have any escort work lined-up so I’m sure you can guess what that meant! We headed out to our local Stones to buy all the item’s needed and he started to work on the fence. It was just him and another helper, so it was slower going than usual, and add a rain day thrown up in there as well, so it would be several days before the new fence-line was up and finished.

As worried as I was about him freezing to death, especially since he was just coming off a week-long winter-cold, there were actually days I came home to find he had peeled-off some of the outer layers of clothing, coat and sweat-shirt and was working in long-sleeves with a long john shirt underneath.

But as cold as it was, and as unaccustomed to that weather as us Floridians are, it was not the -76 below and -56 below that other states were experiencing and for that, I was surely thankful!

BIRDS GALORE!

For those of you who get tired of hearing about my birds – you might want to stop reading right about now. But you’re going to miss out on hearing about all the “new” birds I’ve had at my feeders; birds I’ve never seen the likes of around these parts before.

About three weeks ago or so, I realized I had ran out of my regular bird feed and I was almost out of the peanuts. So I headed out to Lowes for my feed as I get my regular bird feed from there. Well low and behold, they had plenty of feeders – houses, tray/plates, and even hummingbird feeders, but all they had for regular bird feed was the little 5 and 10 pound bags. Shoot fire, none of that was going to do, my birds can go through that amount in less than two days. I couldn’t even imagine – did they think birds don’t hang around here in the winter?

So, I thought to myself, I need to go to my local Bell and Bates store anyway, as that’s where I get my bird’s specialty feed. I decided I could just look for the regular feed there as well once I arrived. I drove back to Quincy entered the Bell and Bates and there where all the Cole’s feed is usually stationed – the end-cap was full of feed just waiting on me.

Now from Coles my birds especially like the Blazing Hot Meat blend; I can’t hardly keep that in the feeders. And if you are wondering if it’s really hot, both my youngest son Zach and husband put some in their mouths when I first started bringing it home. It’s hot. I promise. Down the aisle was the regular feed and they had it in 25 pound bags so I went ahead and bought two.

The cashier rang-up all of my items and I can only imagine was she was thinking. I had almost $50 worth of feed on that counter – all for birds!

Anyway, I got home, and remembered I hadn’t ordered my peanuts. So I went on-line and began that process only to find out, that they too, were out of the 25 pound bags I normally order. They only had the 50 pound bags – and well – you know what happened. My birds have to eat.



As Amazon promises, the peanuts shipped and delivered in two days. I don’t think I was quite prepared for what 50 pounds of peanuts really looks like! I had absolutely nothing to keep all that in order to keep it fresh. So yep, you guessed it, another trip to Bell and Bates was needed to buy storage buckets with lids.

You may think I overly obsess about my birds – but they bring me joy – they bring me peace. The pure pleasure of front porch sitting and watching what surprise will fly up next – well, you’ll just have to experience it for yourself to know. If you want to see Baltimore Orioles, both male and female which are different colors, woodpeckers galore, blue jays, cardinals, sparrows, finches, and a couple of pine warblers – feed your birds.