The Day The Squirrels Went Beserk...

One of my most wonderful friends from back home, has been leaving me messages on my cell phone. Messages about Woodpeckers. Hilarious messages. About Woodpeckers. She lives in Savannah Georgia now. And evi-dang-dently, Savannah Georgia has some of the biggest Woodpeckers you will ever lay your eyes on. They seem to have gotten my friend, Debi Potter Drawdy's, full attention. These Woodpeckers. Or Peckers, as she will call them. Depending on what mood she is in, the day she leaves her message. It sounds almost like the movie Birds when she's talking. I sit there and imagine, her and her husband, being dive bombed by Woodpeckers. Every time they come out their back door!

At any rate, I was cleaning up my phone messages last night. From my cell phone. And I listened to one of those crazy dang, funny Woodpecker messages. And I am sure. That is why.  I woke up with BBGuns and shooting. On my mind. So here goes today's story....

There are some days that I wake up, the sun is shining, and I get confused. Today was one of those days. I woke up at 9:20m. Well, I originally woke up at 7:10am. But, I was not getting up then. It's Saturday for gracious sakes.

Anyway, I woke up to the sun. Blasting through our windows. And the first thing I thought of, was squirrels. My absolute FAVORITE thing to do on Spring and Summer mornings....is to shoot squirrels. I love sitting out on my front porch glider, with a cup of coffee and a BB Gun, and shooting squirrels. Sometimes, I even still have my bedclothes on. Annie Oakley...modern day style.

Now, lest any of you are confused. These squirrels will not be shot for Saturday or Sunday dinner. There will be NO squirrel stew cooked in my house. Not by me anyway. I shoot them because they swarm my bird feeders. I cannot keep them filled with food, because of those stupid squirrels.

I will never forget the first time I "tagged" one. I went crazy!!!! He was cocked mid air, head first, into my feeder. Literally hanging upside down...and I popped him right on the back of his head.  Tail still wrapped around the limb. That son of a gun froze, in mid air. His tail let loose. Then dropped. Slap to the ground!!! I was up off the glider, whooping and dancing around, in my bedclothes!! Oh, it was on then..one down...about a million to go.

Last year, this got to be my weekend ritual. I was addicted. I am no longer sure if it was killing the pesky squirrels or just the thrill of the "tag"....which sounds just awful doesn't it? I can remember thinking to myself, that is why people like to hunt so much. Heck, it's gotta help work out some of your aggressions. The jolt of energy and adrenalin it gives you when the tag is made, is unreal. And these are just tiny, nasty squirrels I'm talking about. Can you imagine the victory of tagging a full grown deer???

Of course, I think my kills are more victorious. What? Are you laughing? Perhaps scoffing? You don't think so? Of course they are. Anybody should be able to tag a full grown deer. A BIG FULL GROWN DEER.  Just standing there. What a target! Try shooting a little squirrel who's flying from one limb to the next. Jitterbugging all through the tree. That ain't easy to do my friend.

I did step outside this morning. To check on the validity of the weather channel. It seemed to be just too sunny, not to be any warmer than that. But alas, it was not. Any warmer. The dang squirrels have a reprieve. For now. But they had better get their climbing gear rolled up a notch or two. Cause I'm ready. And I'm coming. Coffee cup. And BB Gun. In hand. And if my friend Debi steps outside..and sees one of those GIANT Woodpeckers...she might need to start toting a BB Gun herself...or a .22 Rifle.  As my son Joshua LOVES to say...LOCK AND LOAD SON, LOCK AND LOAD. 

copyright © 2011 Michelle Mount Mims