Sometimes, We Just Lose Our Way

No one person is made the same. No one person is like the other. Not everyone wants to go to college after high school. Not everyone is going to go to college after high school.  There are so many kids who at eighteen years old, still have no idea who they are or what they want to do.

Sports only oriented people tend to have some of the biggest problems in real life. Their whole lives are concentrated on one thing. The next game. The next season. Winning. At whatever particular sport they may play. For the boy or girl who was everything in high school, not knowing is hard. High school tends to create Sports God's. Girls and boys who have been idolized. Girls and boys who spend their high school career in the glory spotlight. And now, that the spotlight is gone, what will they do? Who will they be? If they are not ready, not prepared, real life swallows them whole.We must always make sure, we have helped create a good solid base.  A base that will help them stand alone. When they are no longer a quarterback, a pitcher, or a hoop man.

This problem does not solely relate to high school. College and professional sports create the same people. The people who are lost when it's all over. And sometimes, they roam in the wrong direction. In the great pursuit of the right direction. On the road to finding themselves and where they fit in.

I call these men and women, girls and boys, the "other" fallen hero's. The ones who have lost their way looking for what they left behind. Needing to be noticed. Needing to be recognized. To know, they have not been forgotten. That they have a purpose.

Unfortunately, there are those, who choose to take this time, to revel in the downfall. Revel in the downward descent of another human being. Whether it's a young man or woman entering into adulthood, or a an adult trying to enter the second half of his life. This is the time, since we did not see it before, that we need to gather round'. And create a soft net, to help them fall. We need to stand together, and help soften the blows that are surely coming their way. Not scoff,  laugh, or say "I told you so". Don't be the one who talks about what you knew would happen.  If you knew it, you should have been a part of trying to prevent it.

Often the ones closest to the situation, are the last to see it. It has been said a million times before. But I am going to say it again. Never, say what your children will or will not do. Never say, oh no, not my kids. Say instead, I will do all I can to lead them in the right direction. And pray, should they ever stray, that I am there, to pull them back in. Pray that you see it before it's too late. And a price must be paid. Pray that if it does take that long, that you have the strength to lead them back to the light of all that is good and right.

Shame on anyone who takes joy at someone elses' expense. At another family's problems and heartache. Shame on the people who say, "there goes the perfect family, with the perfect lives..and look at them now...see what happens."  For there, by the Grace of God,  go We. I know that. Every time I am the lucky one. The lucky parent. That escapes heartache.  I know that. I may not always be the lucky one. So I pray, that I have the wisdom to see it early, and the strength to survive it,  if I don't.

We need to save these "other" fallen hero's. We need to take both arms and help them up. Not kick and stomp them while they are down. Lend the families our strength and our unconditional love. We will all be the better for it.  Because I refuse to be someone who stands by and watches the fire that is out of control. I want to be the person who smothers the fire out with a blanket. A blanket that has been wrapped around the out of control burn. I want to help breathe life back into someone. Not sit back and watch the life being drained from their bodies. Help them find their way again. Not watch them continue to stumble and fall. Be a part of the solution. Not part of the problem.

Let me see if this helps to put it in better perspective for you. Why do parents think, that we are the only ones who suffer a meltdown when our children are graduating high school? When they have played their last football, basketball, baseball, softball, or volleyball game? Why would we ever think, we are the only ones. Who suffers a small depression.  A lost and lonely, what do I do with myself now, feeling?  That we have pangs of what used to be, sometimes, before it's even all over? A feeling something kin to the worst case of homesickness you could ever imagine. Just over the horizon is the answer, we just have to help them get there. And hope, they can help us. And together, we can all get there, with as little transformation pain as possible.

copyright © 2011 Michelle Mount Mims